geez God... i thought i'd be over this
ok that kinda sorta made no sense at all
but i don't quite understand much of anything right now
i'm all confuzzled
nobody... nobody is who i'm gonna end up with
why? because!
i'm too picky for much of anything else
i told you i stopped believing in miracles with my love life
i plan on being an old maid for the rest of my life
do i want that to happen?
no... but it's what i'm expecting with the way things are turning out
i'm not sure why i'm writing about this God
i'm not sure if it's cuz i want a pity party from you
but i can't blame you for who i am God
i'm just ... too... COMPLICATED
nothing is right for me
and if i don't get what i want... i don't want much of anything else
can you say spoiled God?
nothing will ever work out for me if i continue this way
i was looking for miracles, something, anything
any glimmer of hope that would direct me to the path i want to go
but it looks as if that doors been blocked... locked shut
and i know i'm supposed to look for other doors... new ones
but i don't see why i have to find a new door with another person
i see a door... but i don't know if i want it opened
i'm confused about everything and i don't know what i want outta my life
things never go right for me...
but who can i blame but myself?
i'm lonely for a reason
and that's because i don't want to let anyone in
since people don't meet my standards, i don't want them to see who i truley am
i used to think that things were easy... either i'm attracted to him, or i'm not
and that's the list
what i didn't expect was someone who's totally NOT my list
as in NOT NOT NOT my list
but still liking his personality
i know i love the guy God, but i'm not sure if i love him in that way if you catch my drift
i'm not sure if i want more
i'm not even sure what we have in common
God... what am i to do
i was hoping this wasn't going to come up
i was hoping he would just NOT tell me... ya know... if he did like me
i was kinda hoping he liked someone else
though i'd be jealous... but it would make things a lot easier on me
that's what's wrong with me God
i just want the easy way
i don't want risks
i don't want to mess anything up
i just want things the way they are
but in a messed up kinda way, i want a guy perfect for me
which is... my list
i know not many people can fit my list
and i'm saying not many... because someone did fit the list
and if i wasn't talking to you GOd, i would be swearing at him right now
wonderful, aren't i?
i'm just a lil p.o.ed at how things don't go my way all the time
and i think that's why i can't do anything with ... you know
i'm still hung up with mr. perfect
i have to let go
plus... i think it would be kinda weird...
it's clint... i love him like i love tyrone
?!?!??!?!?!?
GOd, what are you putting me through
he's not MY TYPE
he's got a great personality... but... ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh God
he's like everything that's NOT on the list
and i know i shouldn't be like this
but ?!?!??!?!?
i'm messed up...
help me out God
and i just can't pretend like i didn't read it
can i?!?!?!??!
what am i supposed to do?
guide me God...
ugh... and i know i'm trying to get over it
but if there's any chance... could you... you know, fix things?
is there any way?
i just wish i could get in his brain and see where he's at
yes i'm not as crazed
but i just want to know if we can still be friends
Posted at 06:49 pm by xXskylacXx
