you gave me what i was looking for
hallo there God
i asked, and i guess You somewhat delivered
and if You didn't mean it that way... who cares...
cuz i still believe that everything happens through You
so even if You had no intentions of making it into what i made out of it
i am still taking it as it is
something that will help me to move along
some part of me wishes this wasn't how i would learn things
i wish i could learn these things from a certain someone's mouth
which would mean we were friends again
You see God?
i don't care about him being, ya know... but i just want to be friends
i NEED friends God... and from what i did this weekend
maybe i don't deserve some of them
that was completely out of line for me...
i shouldn't act out of implusive revenge
will i apologize? yes, to some extent
but will i reveal what really went on?
ABSOLUTELY not...
i don't want to make matters worse for me God
i am trying to save my own skin here
i don't know how things will turn out
but i'm hoping no one will hate me by the end of the week
what do you say God
geez, i'm trying to rid myself of problems, but there i go creating them
wow... and this one was intentional too
what was i thinking?
forgive me God... PLEASE
Anyways, i'm surprised i really wasn't affected so much
why is that?
i'd think i'd be totally depressed..... like last time
or maybe that last time took up for everything
maybe cuz i don't really feel so much.... yes maybe a bit obsessed with who i thought he was
but no pangs of distress or jealousy that he has a girl... possibly two... or none
you can never tell with that mouth of his
but what gets me, God, is... i don't know
all that talk with him before-- were those real... or was he just saying that to make me like him?
i'm not so sure anymore
but everything confuses me
when he said he was picky... i believed him
but maybe i'm taking this pickyness to an extreme, i don't know
cuz it seems to me that he's had LOTS of girlfriends
so..... was all that just a lie?
but what gets me is... why didn't he like Anna?
thank you God for listening
Posted at 04:04 pm by xXskylacXx
